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Recently it has been made into a musicalThe writer has a healthy respect for the Women’s Institute and in no way would wish to denigrate that fine organisation.The following is a tongue-in-cheek story inspired by The Calendar Girls:‘And now ladies, I will announce the results of the home made preserves contest: In third place was Mrs Patterson’s beetroot chutney. The second prize goes to Mrs Hamilton-Smythe with her celery and walnut conserve. The first prize once again is taken by the Reverend Betty Finch with her delicious damson jam.’A ripple of applause rang round the Widebotham village hall.The chairman, Mrs Elsie Rippendale, a relative newcomer to the village having lived there for a mere twenty years was still viewed with a degree of suspicion by some of the members. How had she, a Leeds woman, a newcomer to the Dales risen to assume the chairmanship? A relative stranger from the big city. The cheek of it.Mrs Rippendale continued:‘Now ladies, I come to the third item on our. .. I have no videos or photos left of Lee, so let me try and describe her to you. She was.... A bit odd looking. Hey! not in a bad way really, she just looked....Different She was taller than most of the girls I banged, at least 5'7 and had dark hair and features, maybe some Italian in her. She wasn't ugly or fat, but she wasn't skinny or beautiful either. How can I put this.... She was.... great at 10 feet. Not fat or plump, just husky, and had an odd voice. Almost a Fran Drescher nasle voice with out the long Island accent. She had some large B cups, or small C cup tits, and long slender hands. I will always remember her long fingers. Anyway She came in with 2 guys one night at the bar and like damn near every woman that came to the bar, I flirted with her here and there for most of the evening. I learned she was not a student, she was a local that worked at one of the local grocery stores, she was 24, older than me by a bit, and that the two guys with her were co-workers, not fuck.
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